A cask of wine works more miracles than a church full of saints.
Alcohol preserves everything except secrets.
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
A good drink makes the old young.
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.
Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use any other drug with special horror.
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat
Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life’s problems.
A good gulp of hot whisky at bedtime - it’s not very scientific, but it helps.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
Draft beer, not people.
Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.
No man is genuinely happy, married, who has to drink worse gin than he used to drink when he was single.
A torchlight procession marching down your throat.
I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.
Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you just take the girl’s clothes off.
He who drinks a little too much drinks much too much.
The most terrible thing about materialism, even more terrible than its proneness to violence, is its boredom, from which sex, alcohol, drugs, all devices for putting out the accusing light of reason and suppressing the unrealizable aspirations of love, offer a prospect of deliverance.
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
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